By Fran Thomas

With five regulars injured or away (Gerry Cain still drooling over Shakira - does he really want the golden boot?) the value of a large squad was evident. Even then we only managed to put 11 players on the pitch thanks to Rommel, who not only helped us out but played a key role as holding midfielder. Constant whingeing and arguing from some of their players spoilt the game as a spectacle so it was a relief when the first goal (and hundredth of the season) was cleverly glanced in by Nevin from a well-worked corner taken by Willy. Whereupon we were treated to the now familiar yet still bizarre ritual of team mathematician Willy running back for the kick-off shouting "Come on lads, it's 0-0!"

NO WILLY! WE JUST SCORED! It's 1-0, you freaky orange underpants-wearing dunce (no offence).

Two more goals came in the first half, the first a tap in from Reilly after two Nevin shots were blocked and the third from Britto after a mazy run on the six-yard line. In the second half the defence continued to while the time away by pressing wild flowers until they were woken from their slumbers by another Britto goal. Mulholland however was only really galvanised into action when a penalty was awarded - with an unprecedented turn of pace he sprinted into the box and, as with Mergim earlier in the season, shamelessly snatched the ball from Britto and claimed the glory...we don't mind you scoring Gerry but depriving your team-mates of their hat-trick beers is unforgiveable!

Referee: Doron, who did really well in the circumstances.

Team: Turner, Thomas, Mulholland, Llung, Lees, Bajraktari, Nevin, Zahr, Swartjes, Reilly, Britto

Subs: you're joking!

Goals: Nevin, Reilly, Britto 2, Mulholland (pen)

MoM/spot the ball: Nevin