Breaking up the Union

By Marc Poissonier

So we're in the bottom half of the table, we've lost three games by just one goal and last week we beat the team at the top. Now we're away to the second in the table, they have a bit of off-the-ball-incident history according to the still-scarred 2nd Vets - and we have no subs.

But the mood in the dressing room is calm and confident. We chat about whether we should listen to Folk music before a game to keep us relaxed - or Heavy Metal to get us going; but don't manage to decide whether we're too old to enjoy Hip Hop. A potentially explosive moment is averted (someone is wearing Sean's favourite shirt) and we stroll out into the afternoon sun at Stade Fallon, mildly excited by the fact that "Do you know, you can almost see Dave Lees' house from here".

Warm-up nearly over, one of our number is taking a pre-match slash pitch-side. I've seen him do this several times before and I believe it's a ritual, reminiscent of The Gladiator sniffing the soil before each battle, but done slightly differently. And who wants to sniff an Astroturf pitch anyway? I think we should all join him in future, especially at away fixtures. If the opposition take offence, we'll call it a Haka.

First Half

The action starts, we're moving the ball around pretty well but so are they. As the game evolves, they effectively take charge of the midfield - their play revolving around a rather useful big geyser in the middle. Any time we mount an attack their offside trap catches us out, and it's the Union who are constantly pushing forward.

(I might add here that Poissonnier is having a bad game. This is due to nerves brought about by the desire to earn the respect of this distinguished league of gentlemen on his first full outing for the Vets - and it means that he either gifts the ball to the opposition, kicks it out of play unnecessarily or misses it completely).

But hats off to our back four who repel everything that the Union chuck at them and manage to get us to half time with a 0 - 0 score line. Our keeper is also in great form, even saving one shot with his face - such is the dedication within this team.

Second Half

One assumes that the half-time talk for the opposition must have been 'Keep going as you are lads, you're in control and the goals will come'. But our captain made it clear to us that we could win - and told Peckham to man-mark the rather useful big geyser, which was an inspired strategy. Poissonnier was pleased that the captain didn't have any subs...

The Union couldn't have been prepared for what happened as soon as the whistle blew. 1st Vets were now working as a unit, competing and winning in midfield and pressing forward. Poissonnier stopped playing like a donkey but the main reason for this turnaround was probably that Peckham effectively removed their main man. Their goal was now under threat rather than ours. It wasn't long before Hunter got the ball in the back of the net - but celebrations were cut short by the Ref's decision that it was offside. Not sure myself - but as it was all a bit of a blur I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.. However, soon after, a tame shot from Poissonnier heads goalward, probably nicks a defender's foot on the way, spins along the ground inches away from the keeper who is doing beached seal impressions, and somehow manages to work its way into the goal. 0 - 1 !!!

We're now firing on all cylinders. The Union are pushing forward but our back line is holding them. They get a few shots in but most of these head skyward - in fact if a few of their players had been kicking for England against the Boks in Paris that night, the Webb Ellis would now be on English soil. But we're attacking too and their offside trap is no longer working. With a bit more luck we could have scored a few more times in the next 10 minutes - including a penalty when one of their players blatantly handles the ball in the area and the Ref ignores it. I assume he somehow didn't see it - perhaps he was trying to work out if HE could see Dave Lees' house from there at the time.

But we kept working and soon got the chance we deserved. The ball is kicked out of our area and picked up by Nevin 10 yards before the half-way line. He heads for goal with one of the opposition tight on his left shoulder…but that's where Nevin kept him until finally unleashing a cracking shot from 30 yards out. 0 - 2 !!!

We could smell victory now - until the Ref. awarded a penalty to the Union for handball. Strange. It certainly wasn't handball and even if it had been I don't think the Ref. could have seen it from where he was standing. 1 - 2

The final 15 minutes saw the Ref dish out a few cards, in fact Nevin got a full house - 2 yellows and an early bath - but that didn't detract from a man-of-the-match-winning performance. We held on.

This was a great result, a great performance, and proof of what our Captain is always shouting at us - we're good enough to win this league.

Team: Walecki, Lees, Mulholland, Nevin, Martiniello, Egerton, Peckham, Dixson, Poissonnier, Hunter, Bajraktari
Goals: Poissonnier (goal assist from God), Nevin (didn't need any assistance)
Subs: None
MOM: Nevin