The Final Dash
By Adriano Zilhao
As immaculate as ever in garment as well as behaviour – if not in tactical nous – Ash Blancs were thoroughly outplayed by a revived bunch of Second Vets, who claimed a third back-to-back scalp.
It is worth remembering that the 1st round result, back in November at Nekker, had already been a foreboding 2-2 draw. Then Blancs stood 3rd in the league table.
This time Blancs were fourth before kick-off. After the final whistle, no longer.
One way you could put it is that Blancs are guilty of systematically misunderestimating BUFC.
They played their defence very high up. As it turned out, 15 years or so too far up. BUFC 6 forward duo of McAlpine and Woollin (then Hunter) comprehensively outran Blancs' defence, and the pattern that burnt itself on the crowd's (Jowl's) retina was one of galloping counter-attacking red-blue forwards sowing panic in the opposition's rearguard – and most often squandering fine scoring chances.
On a typical occasion, Woollin took off from 15 yards into our own half, passed the ball around a typical hair-colour-matching-shirt full back and with Blancs' half all for himself stopped only in Northern Holland, where the front wind became too strong for even him. Blancs' goalposts being well inside Belgian territory no goal came of it, and only an olden customs union saved him from a steep fine for illegal import of dirty boots into squeaky clean Holland.
Woollin had actually scored the inaugural goal, allegedly with his foot, after fine wing work from McAlpine.
'Clean-sheet no longer' Shayler was overheard bitterly complaining about joblessness. His afternoon's work indeed consisted of a short stroll to the back of his net when Blancs unexpectedly equalised from a well finished move from the right wing.
However, almost from the second-half kick-off (it could also have been some other time, but this is mostly fiction anyway) United were back in front, Hunter finishing in style from an angle after the white defence was again caught forward salivating at Northern France’s cheese mountains.
As may have already been hinted at, while betrayed by numbers suggesting a close contest, the victory was comprehensive. Blancs could build nothing. They were foiled in midfield; when they tentatively reached BUFC's defensive lines they were dishearteningly dispossessed by towering man-of-the-match-bound Brown or tackled out of contention by come-back kid Brewerton; and their defence, well, was not where it should have been. They only had the profligacy of BUFC's front and middle lines to thank for the thin score line.
At the trademark surreal stage of any Second Vets match Raynaldo 'Kid' Brewerton, who, as may also have been reluctantly hinted at, gave a battling account of himself, was told off by the captain in no uncertain terms. The reasons escaped the attention of this chronicler, who thought it was just a freak thunderstorm, but when a worried opposition urged "Peace and Love" on BUFC ranks, all finished in harmony and kisses.
It only takes beating Avia for the final dash for a single-digit ranking to be won at the death. Avia have the fifth best defence in the league though. A repeat of a famous 8 September 2001 victory (4-2, all goals scored by BUFC players) is what you need to focus on… Yes, you can.
