They Forgot How To Lose

by Adriano Silly How and Mike Graf Von Cramm - Stabs (to) his mates

At the end of the eighteenth season of Vets the final game brought to light four amazing features:
1. for the first time we managed four wins in a row
2. there was no game postponed this season
3. Adriano refereed (and survived, just)
4. and finally this match report has been written by a sub and a sub referee - having just had two Blanches and two glasses of Champagne - while Vets 1 one are playing AVIA 1.

This brings us to our tale of a fabulous victory of Vets 2 against AVIA 2. While we are writing these lines we just realised that Sean Murray has been missing a 100 percent chance he would certainly have converted last season - we may have to recruit him for the Second Vets! Tommo is currently refereeing the game and according to some undisclosed sources is currently doing more running than during the 2nd Vet's game against AVIA 2.

Talking about Tommo we remember how - Jason, a true Second Vet actually just scored ...for the first Vets - he held the near the corner flag with only a minute to go and Vets 2 being up 3-1. Then - with seconds to go - Adriano catered for another round of drinks by calling Tommo's foul throw. Adriano? Yes, Adriano the so called referee who managed to become Avia's best friend by just whistling twice. But then again, he is an asthmatic, isn't he? Perhaps he had still been thinking about his shot/cross in the first half which went about two metres clear of the goalie. At that time, however, there had been hardly any doubt about the winners. BUFC where already 2-0 up at that stage. Pedro - Willy just scored a typical Vets 2 goal by taking advantage of a fabulous lay off from Ex Second Vets, Ex QPR and future Ex First Vets (?) Jason Peckham to conclude from some 30 yards - let' s get back to Pedro. Was it a shot or a pass - we will never know. Anyway it went in and that' s what matters. (2-0). This finally allowed us to calm down somewhat and actually remember that we had opened just before following a clever cross by Barry which Andy somehow managed to get into their goal. Actually, now Avia 1 have come back with a goal against the First Vets (2-1). It smells of deja vu, because with a couple of minutes to go Avia 2 actually also came back to 1-2.

Now it is half time at their game so let's turn to our second half. Well there is nothing really to say about it, except for the fact that all we were thinking of was to get it over with - and celebrate our fourth win in a row, and ninth in the League. Well, that's always assuming Brussels British beat Tubize of course. Ninth, then. 35 minutes to go. New referee. What do you mean, new? Ancient, actually. And Portuguese, is there any limit to these things. Anyway, there were some close calls about for the first time ever having referee substitution cum eviction the tar and feathers thing. Lucky Luke, you could call him, shooting (nothing) from his hip as fast as no one could see (including his shadow).

Willy is injured now, or so they say. Yes, say the crowd. Gerry. Sorry. Cain. Gerry, Cain. Put it in the back of the net , or middle way to the back, doesn't matter, the reporter is beyond the pale now. Yes 3-1, that's how match ended and it might have been a different score had ...not passed the ball. Anyway, with three minutes to go' he managed somehow to sneek a ball off the goalie and then score. (Gerry Cain moves on the left wing, passes it on to Jessie, then on to......it doesn't matter because it leads to nothing). Then Tommo runs towards the corner flag, but we have already told you about it. It' s time to wrap up now and - after a shower and - for Pedro- a fag to go up to the bar and watch the First Vets play. Fortunately, Ray and Tam have brought three bottles of Champagne - there emptied faster than any Second Vets attack fizzles out. A final quote from the wiseyest man in the squad whose name we will of cours disclose. "The skipper managed to bring us from the brink of disaster to the brink of mediocrity." (It' s still 3-1 for the First Vets.)

Team: Shayler, Brewerton, Brown, Kemp, Schawe, Assuncao, Zilhao, Tommo, Dibb, Woollin, McAlpine
Subs: Wisey, Cohen, Haye, Stabenow
Scorers: Woollin, Assuncao, Wisey
Men of the Match: McAlpine, Assuncao