Shark-Shooting 3rds Seal First Win!

By Chris Lindsay

Team: Paul Harris, Luis Gonzales, Rob Anger, Chris Lindsay, Tony Costella, Marc Gawley, Krystof Jonczyk, Ray McGrath, Roger Murray, James Addinall, Jon Eldridge
Subs: Chance would be a fine thing!
Scorer: Rog "I never miss from half-a-meter" Murray
MOM: Paul "The Elastic Man" Harris

The first surprise of the Day for the United Boys (apart from actually arriving at the ground on time) was the emergence of Marc Gawley as captain for the Day. Whether this was the result of a democratic decision between himself & James, a coup d'etat or first prize in a write-in-and-be-captain-for-a-day-in-place-of-James competition will only ever be known to the two supremos. Taking his new responsibilities in his stride, Marc launched straight into an uplifting and inspiring team-talk highlighting the appalling bad-luck-and-injury story responsible for United's current precarious league position and pointing out that the oppositions' impressive league standing was a result of wins by relatively-low margins. The only minor inconsistency in Marcs comments about Les Requins goal-scoring records was his deliberate omission of their 7-goal and 6-goal victories - excellent psychology!

Determined to prove that nothing is impossible, Captain Gawley used his first kick of the game to launch the ball high into the stratosphere. After striking an orbiting satellite the ball amazingly descended behind the home teams 'keeper and onto the cross-bar. Almost the dream start!

After the surreal beginning, the match settled into a pattern of good, flowing football from both sides. The home team looked fast and incisive on the break but were generally contained comfortably by the United defence. A scary moment occurred when the centre forward broke through clean on goal but 'keeper Harris "made himself big" so that the striker fired wide. Les Requins also had the ball in the net but the eagle-eyed ref correctly spotted the illegal (in football, anyway) use of the hand to guide the ball home. Uniteds' fluent play also led to the creation of good chances for Jon "Why-Do-I-Always-Win-The-Spot-The-Ball-Competition?" Eldridge and, er, possibly Rog or James or someone else but these were either "missed sitters" or glorious-but-unlucky attempts depending upon your viewpoint. Another impressive attacking move ended with a wonderful curling 20-metre strike from the lively Krystof which narrowly missed the left-hand goalpost.

The half ended with United very pleased with their first-half performance against a good team whose oldest player was younger than our youngest player!

HT: Les Requins 0 - British United 3rds 0

Filled with the unexpectedly lively half-time water, United came out of the blocks in the second-half with rocket-powered boots. And within one minute they were ahead! Ray McGrath made another of his hallmark darting runs down the left-hand-side of the penalty area and delivered a magnificent cross. Eldo provided a slick, deft touch (many others would have selfishly scored) to the marauding Roger Murray whom applied the decisive finishing touch before running half-way to Namur in celebration. 1-0! A real life, actual goal!

Of course, one of the problems of scoring one minute into the second half is that there are still 34 minutes to hold on. I could say that the United killed the game and that the rest of the second half passed without incident. That would certainly save words, ink and trees. However, it would not do justice to the fantastic battling spirit and determination with which United secured the three points against a fast, energetic team.

Here are some heart-stopping, heroic defensive moments:

• Long Goal-Kick from Les Requins keeper bounced over the United Central Defence and 'keeper Harris had two forwards bearing down on him with the ball and a big goal to aim at. Without regard for his safety (or anyone else's) Paul raced out of his goal forcing one of the strikers to slide the ball wide of the right hand post.
• A cross to the centre picked out a Requins forward who headed down into the corner only to be foiled by a miraculous low right-handed save by the keeper. On the evidence of this flexibility from our man Paul it's not only sharks that have no bones!
• Another goal-mouth scramble ended in an amazing incident in which the ball ricocheted off a whole melee of players including Paul & Luis and which ended in an unbelievable block by Luis, the post (and I'm sure an old lady from Ottignies who was passing by with her Saturday afternoon shopping).

The above incidents were interspersed amongst some excellent counter-attacking play by United which saw them break into the opposing penalty area on several occasions. These forays ended in shots narrowly wide and crosses narrowly missed by the forwards. Luckily for those involved my short-sightedness and amnesiacal memory mean that I've no idea who the culprits/near-heros were.

The last 10 minutes of the game seemed to stretch on longer than a night on-the-town with Avram Grant. But eventually the final whistle blew and United had their first victory of the season. One win on-the-trot. Fantastic!

The United Boys celebrated with more of that fizzy-water-stuff that spurred them on at half time. Was this the turning point of the season? Let's make sure it is!

The man-of-the match vote was deservedly won by Paul Harris following a magnificent goalkeeping display. The inspirational Anger, Gonzales and Costella were close behind with the rest of the votes spread amongst the whole team. It was a great team effort.

FT: Les Requins 0 - British United 3rds 1

Bring on the rest of the season!